There are many times when I have moments to myself and my mind drifts back to situations that I thought I would never live through.  I thought for sure, “this is it”.  There were even times that the pain, hatred, (self hatred included),  that I had was unbearable and I wasn’t completely sure that even if by some miracle, I was to make it through, that I wanted to live to see how life would be without the pain.  I conditioned myself to live with it and hide it behind a forced smile.  Meanwhile, behind the smile, email and text responses, and even Facebook posts, I was hurting.  I’m not talking about a paper cut hurt or even a scrape on the knee hurt.  I’m talking about an overwhelming, heart wrenching, mental, physical, and spiritual grief and suffering hurt.  I truly thought that there was no other way to live.  This is the life that I was use to.  This was my norm.  Living life without living at all.

 As I listen to the lyrics sung by Elevation Worship, my heart becomes so full, the meaning penetrates my spirit and God’s presence falls upon me so heavily.  

“A miracle can happen now
For the spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the spirit of the Lord is here”

 As my mind travels back to the present, it’s so sweet to recall each and every victory and testimony.  Victories and triumph’s that prove that it was NOBODY BUT GOD WHO BROUGHT ME THROUGH.  The miracle that I mentioned above was and still is God.  The evidence, is the breath that I breathe daily.  It’s the love and forgiveness that I have for those who sought out to purposely harm me.  It’s the compassion of Christ that I’m able to show, that others see in me and question how I’m able to give it.  It’s so sweet to remember the refreshing and the renewing that I felt as I allowed God to take over.

 I know many can relate to times when God says “Go left”  and without even considering following his direction,  we’ve already calculated the distance from where we stand to where we want to be. What just happened is all of a sudden, our faith in ourselves weighs more than our trust in God, and our response to him is “Hmm, this way is shorter.   I’m going to take a right”.  When we don’t follow God’s direction, we end up in situations that could’ve been avoided.  Even though the calculation in distance looks shorter and makes sense to you, there is something along the path that you have chosen that God already knows about, but you are unable to see.  The direction he gave you may be longer, BUT the path that has been laid out for you is one that is imperative for you to travel.  This path is where your healing, deliverance, faith, love, and purpose will unfold.  We tend to think that we know better than God at times and we stray.  Even if and when this happens, when we turn to God, his arms are open wide, ready to receive us giving us his love, grace, and mercy.  Isn’t his love, grace, and mercy the reason why we are still here?? It’s all a process.  The path, your path, my path, is a process.  No two path’s will be the same.  But the God leading us and covering us on the path is.

In order for restoration to take place, we have to go through a process.  I have had to allow myself to be stripped of everything that I was holding onto.  In this process, I have learned to depend on God because everything else failed me.  In this process, I’ve learned that we can’t place God like expectations on man with limited capabilities.  I and many of you have experienced and may still be experiencing devastating levels of unhappiness that results in debilitating pain.  My heart goes out to you yes, but my prayer is that you allow God to restore you.  Stop looking to people to fix what only God can.  Our Creator knows us inside and out and knows exactly how to fix and reprogram us back to our original state.  Before we allowed people and situations to change us, and before we held onto the hurt and other things that we’ve felt and tried to let go of on our own.  I’m here to tell you that the process is not easy.  And the series of events that has taken place isn’t to cause you pain, but to push you to depend on God to bring you through.  Yes, there will be times that you will not want to feel or think about any of it.   But, I can testify that in the process, there is growth, a new found faith, trust, the true meaning and understanding of love, and the makings of a clean and pure heart.  

Restoration is a process.  Don’t turn your back on yours.


God is love,



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Stunted Growth-A Spiritual Pandemic

I am becoming more and more aware that a lot of God’s people are completely unaware of what they are capable of. (Myself included.) They are unaware of how much power and authority they have.  Now, as people, it’s true, we don’t have much power at all.  But the God in us does and many of us have just barely tapped into our inner Christ like selves, and many of us have not tapped into it at all.  It surprised me to hear that more than half of the people I’ve talked to, feel the same way.   Many are aware of how unaware they are of their God given capabilities or gifts. I can truly relate.  There is a burning desire to do more.  Not for yourself, but for God’s glory.  You know deep down that where you are right now in life is not your final destination.  But,  you’re frozen…with fear…and doubt.  The thought of you exercising the level of faith you believed you had means that you have to trust God even though you have no idea what he is doing or where he is taking you. You dream about it. Your ideas are jotted down, whether its on post it notes, a notebook, or on the back of an old receipt (yes, that is me.  Whatever works right? lol). More doubt and fear creep in and the enemy reminds delights in reminding you of all the reasons why you wont be successful.  And just like that, the thing that God has place inside of you to release, becomes smaller and more of a blur as you head in the opposite direction while looking in the rear view mirror.  Why is it easier for us to encourage others and to remind them of God’s promises, but in the same breath, we exclude ourselves?   Could it be that our faith and trust in God, isn’t what we thought it was?  Or maybe we are so comfortable with “getting by” in life with just enough that the thought of being successful scares us, so we do nothing.  We sit on what God has given us.  We understand that we can only get so far by ourselves, but when God is involved, we know that he will take us higher and deeper than ever before.  We understand that we have to agree to his will being done and it very well may not be what we wanted for our lives, so, we  stay exactly where we are, not because  deep down we want to, but because it’s familiar.  And familiar feels good.  It doesn’t require us to grow much and it’s more predictable than being blindfolded and being led down a road we have never traveled.

When God gave me the title for this post, even though I knew what stunted growth meant, I still chose to look it up.  Stunted growth is a reduced growth rate in human development.  I took a closer look at how children who are malnourished were affected and found that they lack vital nutrients when they are not fed appropriately.  In order to prevent this from happening, children should be fed frequently.  Children who are  malnourished, not only are stunted physically but have both brain and organ developmental delay.  Easily, the two meanings can be connected for the natural and the spiritual.  We are only able to tap into what God has for us when we spend time and become more intimate with him.  This is done by feeding on his word. The more we feed and digest the word of God, the less chance we have to risk suffering from being malnourished which is the same as not walking in the fullness of God.  When we are being fed frequently, not only does it ensure that we are getting the vital nutrients that we need to grow and to be spiritually healthy, but we learn to see ourselves just as our Creator sees us.  We build up strength to carry out the assignments that he has entrusted to us, which enables us to encourage others to fight against the enemy’s attack of the Stunted Growth Pandemic.  

One day after praying to God for guidance, direction, and wisdom,  I felt lost because I couldn’t decide if what I was about to do was me or if it was God.  I was discouraged because I demanded an answer from God and he said nothing.  Sitting in silence, God spoke.  “I have given you everything that you need, but since you choose not to believe, you stunt your own growth”  

***Deafening Silence***

 He asked me “how can you expect me to use you, if you don’t even believe that you more precious than rubies?  If you don’t believe that you were worth saving, how can you expect those around you to believe that I can, will, and desire to do the same for them? God is completely capable of doing any and everything, but we can’t sit around and wait for him to do it all.  We have an important part to play that involves more than just waiting on God to move.  While he is moving behind the scenes, it is our job to prepare ourselves for the work that he is calling us to do.  He is waiting on us to totally rely on him to take us where he needs us to be.  He is waiting on us to realize that even though where he is taking us, is unfamiliar territory, and you can’t understand how you, the one without the degree, or with a ton of debt, or with whatever you think is big enough to keep you from moving forward, he is waiting on you to realize that when he is involved, that you don’t need what the world says is a requirement to move ahead.  You simply need to get out of your own way, speak life into your situation, and start exercising control over your thoughts (yes, take those thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ!).  Let God use you how he wants to use you and understand that he has equipped you for your purpose!! 

We are destined for GREATNESS!!  TAP INTO IT & Let’s continue to encourage one another!!

God is love,


(This one is for you Shawnta’ Brown 😘🙏🏽)